All she had ever wanted
by sprout sinistra
Summary: An longer more adult Epilogue for Life's choices


All she had ever wanted- Epilogue to Life's choices  
  
I know it's late, I know you're weary  
  
I know your plans don't include me  
  
Still here we are, both of us lonely  
  
Longing for shelter from all that we see  
  
Why should we worry, no one will care  
  
Look at the stars so far away  
  
We've got tonight  
  
Who needs tomorrow?  
  
We've got tonight  
  
Why don't you stay?  
  
Ginny felt rather cold as she walked down the path to Hogsmeade on that afternoon. Professor Snape had given them way too much homework again, and therefore she couldn't have left any earlier.  
  
Was it just that the summer was extremely short this year, or was it the missing heat from the others? She didn't know. All she knew was that she was freezing. It felt like her cheeks must be extremely flushed and her fingers were cold from the wind- no it was more like a storm.  
  
Most of the students had decided to skip the trip to the little village because of the storm, and Ginny had been close to it as well. If it wasn't for Harry and the fact that she hadn't seen him after the opening of the Quidditch Supply Shop, she would have definitely stayed in the secure and warmth of the Common Room.  
  
Sometimes she found herself wishing that last year would have turned out differently. That they would have come together right at the start, but she knew in the end it was all for the best. They would never have destroyed Voldemort, and Draco would still not know that he too had a spark of goodness...and indeed it was only a spark. After the letter she had received before her return to Hogwarts, she had heard some rather disturbing news.  
  
It seemed that Draco had not completely changed sides...at least there had been a few attacks on Muggles reported, and it had sounded a lot like Draco...and the boy hadn't even written another letter to her ...She didn't know what to think of it, but right now she didn't want to think of him at all... In her head the mental picture of a black haired boy, with green sparkling eyes, full of love and only for her was graven. Harry.  
  
When she opened the door; the little bell rang. Harry had told them that most Muggle shops had them, and he wanted some kind of Muggle tradition in this stop. There was no sight of Harry, nor was Ron anywhere close, so Ginny stepped to the counter waiting for either of them to arrive. The shop was empty, just like she had expected it to be with this weather.  
  
Everything here still smelled so new, but Ginny wasn't surprised to find herself feeling at home. After all it was Harry and Ron's shop. She had been with them when they had decided on most of the decoration...and it was Harry's ...Her cheeks started to warm very fast.  
  
"Good afternoon, what can I ..." It was Harry's voice. He stopped in mid- sentence as if he had just realized who was standing in front of him. "Ginny, I didn't expect you to come, with this storm going on." He hugged her tightly, leading her into the back room.  
  
"Storm, Harry? What a storm? That's just a little breeze..." Ginny said trying to sound light about it. Unfortunately just at that second a large tree branch could be seen flying through the air...  
  
"Well, what can I say? I wanted to see you," she whispered while leaning forward till their lips touched. Kissing Harry was still new and wonderful, and although she was used to the contact of their lips, it always made her feel very happy and special...after all he wanted her...  
  
"I've missed you too, but Ron could be back any minute," Harry stated, somehow sounding sad that he had to break the contact.  
  
"So?" Ginny giggled. "He's a grown man now... he ought to know we do more than hold hands... he and Hermione have certainly done a lot more...He can handle it." She continued to kiss him.  
  
"Thanks for the mental picture," Harry answered looking disgusted, and Ginny had to giggle.  
  
"Of course I don't know if you can handle that information," she added, hoping to sound light.  
  
"You think Ron would like the picture of his little sister sleeping with his best friend?" he snorted and Ginny froze for a second... They had never slept with each other, and Harry had never pushed her...In fact she had already started to wonder if he ever thought about it, and hearing this sentence from Harry gave her hope. If he was saying something like that, he was indeed thinking about it. He suddenly started to blush violently, and she realised that Harry hadn't planned to say his thought out loud. She stepped closer wrapping him into her arms kissing his neck slowly and silently. She didn't want to tease him anymore...being close to him sounded perfect to her, and words weren't needed.  
  
~*~  
  
Whatever she had thought would interrupt their time alone, it was definitely not what actually happened. They had just leaned against a wall, enjoying the feeling of closeness, when they heard a very loud bang from the front room. Both of them were used to fighting dark wizards, and so they ran into the other room, fear of a new attack evident in their whole being. What they found was a mess. By all appearances, the glass door had shattered when a branch had blown through it, covering the whole room in tiny glass shards.  
  
"Damn it," Harry swore under his breath. "I forgot to do the glass protection spell on the door as well." He leaned down, obviously ready to clean up the mess. Ginny started laughing.  
  
"What's so funny?" He tried to look angry but Ginny could see that he was amused by her behaviour. He rose an eyebrow questioningly.  
  
"You're a wizard Harry," she managed to get out... "You might use ...a spell?"  
  
"You know, that's starting to sound familiar," he answered after he had fixed the door. "But as much as I hate to change the topic," he started, looking rather relieved that he could do so. "I don't think that you can return to school today. It's just too dangerous."  
  
Ginny had to admit that he was right...the weather looked horribly dangerous now, and she had acted very unwisely. She nodded her agreement, wondering what Harry would suggest.  
  
"I think we should contact Dumbledore telling him that you'll stay with me and Ron tonight, okay?" He didn't actually wait for her response, and in a strange way she was thankful for it. She watched him leave the room, and she thought about going after him. When she finally started after Harry, she ran right into him.  
  
"Sorry," she whispered, stepping back as if she was on fire. She'd never felt anything like the heat that he was radiating right now.  
  
"No worries," he answered his ears turning slightly pink. "I told Dumbledore about you staying. He said that you should try to be at Hogwarts again by ten in the morning, so that your classmates don't get the wrong idea."  
  
"He's probably right," she agreed, feeling herself blush. She felt strange. What ideas could people get? Somehow her whole being started to spin around, making her feel dizzy. She trusted Harry with all of her heart but was it really the best idea to stay here? Maybe she could have made it back to Hogwarts.  
  
Don't be ridiculous, her inside argued reasonably. Ron will be here, so don't make a fool of yourself! His hand carefully touched her shoulder snapping her out of her trance.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yes! Sorry I was just a bit absentminded. Nothing to worry about." She smiled, but he didn't really seem convinced. Ginny took a deep breath, feeling herself relax again. Thinking really could get a person into trouble.  
  
"We should fix some supper," Ginny suggested feeling hungry all of sudden. When she glanced at her watch she realized that it wasn't all that early anymore. Harry nodded, leading her into the kitchen. For a time they worked in silence, neither one feeling the urge to talk. From time to time Ginny would glance his way feeling odd about the way they were acting around each other. She had to fix that. She also wondered why Ron had still not come home. After all it was past ten, but Harry's actions were bothering her more. Suddenly she felt his presence close behind her, and she sighed a little. Now was the time to change things for the better. She turned around, looking into his beautiful green eyes.  
  
"Come here," she demanded pressing herself against him. Her hands were slowly caressing his shoulders, and before she was really sure what happened, Harry leaned forward, kissing her carefully. The tenderness with which he did so made her shiver. Her hands kept wandering over his torso, slowly starting to explore his chest. Ginny forget where she was right now, but she knew exactly who was standing in front of her. He moaned, giving her strength and power at the same time. He was truly hers.  
  
"Harry? Are you here?" It was Ron's voice, making them jump apart as if they were on fire. They walked over to the fireplace, Ginny taking the seat next to it while Harry leaned down, his face visibly flushed. Ginny tried to stay out of Ron's view, since she didn't really feel up to his teasing.  
  
"Hey! I was just going to tell you that I'm still at Hermione's. She doesn't feel comfortable with the storm, so I'll just stay with her tonight."  
  
"No, you can't," Harry almost screamed making Ginny jump slightly.  
  
"Oh, don't tell me you are scared of the weather too. I might have to call Ginny to protect you!" Ginny could just picture the look at Ron's face, and she had to suppress a giggle.  
  
"Don't you get it? She's already here. We told Professor Dumbledore that Ginny will stay **was staying at her brother's house!" Harry argued, making Ron probably go very pale for a second. But Ginny knew her brothers, and she knew what would come next.  
  
"Well she is staying at her brother's house... and everybody- you're better than Malfoy. Just treat her like a lady and I'm sure you'll be all right. Say hi to Ginny , and..." But in that same minute the electricity generator that Harry had bought went down. Ginny could hear Harry sigh in frustration before he muttered lumos under his breath.  
  
"I'm sorry, it wasn't planned like that," Harry said and she thought that he sounded rather worried, but she didn't understand why.  
  
"Well, I guess that can happen, if you insist on having things the Muggle way." She got up, hugging him tightly. She felt her nervousness return...But this time it was excitement... Harry and her alone, without anybody to disturb them. Her heart started to beat faster, and she felt her insides grow warm. She leaned forward to kiss Harry again, but he stepped back.  
  
"Well, I don't think that we can do anything about it now. So I suggest you take a few candles and go to bed. If you don't mind you can sleep in Ron's room. Or of course I could make the guest room ready."  
  
Something inside her snapped. He had not even tried to react to her. Had not even suggested that she could sleep in his... but she couldn't possibly ask him for it, could she?  
  
"No, I don't mind," she answered feeling odd. His look was intense and new, but he didn't say anything. Instead he nodded, guiding her up to the first floor.  
  
"Good night," he whispered before he leaned down, giving her a short kiss. His door closed and she was left alone in the hallway.  
  
~*~  
  
She was sitting on Ron's bed unable to sleep. The storm was still hammering against the window, and she was freezing. Ron's shirt, which she had borrowed, didn't help. She missed Harry so much and having him in the other room didn't help at all. It was frustrating, the way he didn't seem interested in her. Why had he acted like that? Had she demanded too much? So many questions were racing in her mind, making her think that she might go insane.  
  
And suddenly, she decided something. She'd go to Harry. He was her boyfriend after all, and she had every right to visit him in his room in the middle of the night.  
  
The floor was cold and she started to shiver. Not only because of that, but also because of what she was doing. It felt as if the were hundreds of butterflies in her stomach, making it unable to stay calm.  
  
She opened and closed the door to his room as silently as possible, feeling her heart speed up again. She lighted a few candles that he had placed on his cupboard, and she looked around a bit. Somehow it was different from the last time she had been in there. The last time it had been new, and it hadn't really been Harry's room... but now it was... Harry was all over this place and the feeling made her catch her breath.  
  
"Harry?" she whispered, not wanting to wake him, but desperately wanting to be close to him. "Are you awake?" He sat up in his bed very quickly, looking quite sleepy.  
  
"I am now," he answered, reaching for his glasses. Ginny could feel him staring at her bare legs. It made her blush, but she didn't mind. But also Harry realized what he was doing. "Um... sorry... what's wrong?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing... I was just cold... and I was wondering... maybe I could sleep in your bed?" She didn't think that she had ever done anything more difficult, and Harry didn't make it any easier. His eyes went big as if he hadn't quite understood her...  
  
"Gin, I don't think you should." Again those odd feeling came up. Why didn't Harry react like a normal boyfriend? Why couldn't he start kissing her? Anything! Why did he have to act as if she wasn't attractive enough for him? She knew in a heartbeat that this wasn't true... but who cared?  
  
"Don't you want me Harry? Am I that ugly that you don't want to be close to me?! Why don't you want to make love to me?" She hasn't realised how loud her own voice had become during her speech, but somehow she didn't care anymore. Harry looked as if he'd start protesting, but Ginny wasn't in the mood for an argument.  
  
She lifted up the shirt, letting it fall down next to her. Harry immediately looked away blushing. She forced herself to speak. "Harry, please look at me..." Very slowly, he let his eyes drift over her. "I'll only ask this once, and then I'll leave you alone if you want me to. What do you see when you look at me like that?"  
  
"I don't know if we should disc-"  
  
"Harry, if you do really love me... then tell me." Her voice was more confident than she really felt. She could hear Harry sigh, and she stepped back in fear of what he'd say next. However, he reached for her hand.  
  
"Come here," he whispered, looking her directly into her eyes. "Ginny, when I look at you I see... all my dreams coming true. I see my past, present and future. I see so much love in your eyes. I see a beauty that makes me feel so light. I see the woman I love with all my heart... I see you." And slowly he leaned forward kissing her belly in the most careful way. "I don't know anything that I want to do more than showing you how deep my love for you goes. I just don't want to hurt you." Ginny felt tears rolling down her cheeks.  
  
"You hurt me, by trying to protect me," she whispered, before she caressed his face. "Make love to me."  
  
She could see desire in his eyes, when he heard those words. He looked hypnotized, making her feel cherished in a way that she had never expected. Slowly, maybe even a little hesitantly he leaned forward kissing her with aching slowness. Her eyes closed on instinct filling her with a hunger for him. She opened her mouth a little, allowing Harry entrance. But his lips moved lower to her neck, and to her collarbone, making her moan in both frustration for leaving her so unfulfilled, but also in expectation what was now to come.  
  
His hands moved over her, so lightly that every touch and movement of his hands made her want to cry out. The love that was surrounding them made this moment even better than she had always thought it would be. He touched parts of her that nobody had ever dared to even look at before, and because it was Harry, it felt so very good.  
  
"Harry," her breathing had become shallow as he kept teasing her. She smelled his unique scent that made every thought escape her mind. There was no longer anything but them. Far away she could hear the storm hammering mercilessly against the house, but she didn't care. The only thing she cared for was Harry.  
  
Although she wanted him so badly, she still found herself unable to explore him as freely as she wanted. After all he was almost naked, and that was definitely new to her. She wanted to drive him as wild as he did to her, wanted to show him that she could fulfil all his dreams. Wanted him to feel how she felt. When Harry kissed her lips again, this time full of passion and desire, he seemed to sense her fears somehow. He leaned back a bit, and gazed into her eyes. She didn't know why exactly, but she couldn't hold the eye contact.  
  
"Ginny, we don't have to go any further," Harry said, not giving away how he felt about all this.  
  
"But I want to, it's just..." All her confidence seemed to be gone in that second. She could feel his eyes never leaving her. How could she tell him? "I want to touch you in the same way that..." She felt the heat returning to her face. She really didn't want to finish that sentence... However, she didn't have to...  
  
Suddenly she felt Harry's hand on hers and she tensed up. Her eyes looked up in a moment. Those eyes, looked so sincere and full of love. She nodded slowly. "Please close your eyes," he whispered, making her shiver slightly. She held her breath wondering what would happen next. "Relax," he continued.  
  
She felt her hand being placed on his chest. Harry didn't move. Didn't move their hands. He just breathed in and out... She could feel his heartbeat against her palm. Her tongue flickered over her lips. This felt right. Very slowly, Harry guided her hand over his trained muscles, and Ginny felt his breath quickening. She herself was becoming more confident again. Then his hand left hers and she felt him take her left hand in his. Soft lips were kissing her wrist making her sigh.  
  
Now both of her hands were resting on his chest, and when she felt ready she started to let them dance over him more freely. Her eyes were still closed, making the sensations even more unbearable. Harry still didn't move, but she heard him moan... His breath was quick now, making her realise how much power she had over the man she loved. She opened her eyes again, leaning forward. Her body shivered from excitement when her lips started to travel down Harry's neck over his chest and down to his belly. When her hand reached out for the waistband of Harry's boxers, she could hear him gasp.  
  
He brought her face up to his, kissing the corner of her mouth very lightly. "Not so fast," he told her while he caressed the sensitive spot behind her earlobe giving her a new sensation. Her back tensed up, making her moan his name again. "We have the whole night, love."  
  
Harry was leaning over her body, and Ginny could feel the heat radiating from him. And she felt a new desire rising inside of her. She wanted to feel his body pressed against hers. Wanted to feel his naked skin slide over her body. She wrapped her feet around his hips, putting her arms around his shoulders. Slowly she tried to pull his sweaty body down onto hers and when he finally gave in, she heard herself cry out his name.  
  
She wanted to be one with him, and the desire that had built inside of her, was driving her over the edge.  
  
"Har- ry, I need you, " she cried out, feeling as if she would explode. He nodded, holding her gaze the whole time. When he entered her, she cried out in pain, and Harry stopped moving completely He looked scared all of sudden, ready to leave her... but she couldn't let him. Her legs tightened around him, and her arms wouldn't let him go. She pressed her face against his shoulder. "Don't! I'll be all right," she stated.  
  
"But... I hurt you." He sounded worried making her smile.  
  
"No, you made me complete," she answered, before slowly starting to move. Their eyes locked and Harry started to react to her. He kept kissing her face while he drove them both closer to ecstasy. Their movement became more and more rhythmical, making her scream in demand for more. She could hear him moan and cry out, but she didn't understand him anymore. Her body was shaking, developing a will of its on. She couldn't concentrate on anything anymore.  
  
"Harry!" The feeling was indescribable. She felt as if she'd burst any minute now. Suddenly Harry stopped moving, crying out her name. He brought her back to reality. She hadn't had total fulfilment, but something inside of her told her that one day, she would.  
  
When he put his arms around, hugging her close, she could feel how much she meant to him as well.  
  
"I love you," he whispered into her ear before he dozed off.  
  
Ginny stayed awake for a long time that night watching Harry while she listened to the storm. Being so close to him, and feeling him breathe beside her so peacefully made her realise that she had all she ever wished for... Yes they would still be separated for another year, but they had tonight... And that was all that she had ever wanted....  
  
The End  
  
A/N: So the battle against this story is finally over. And it's written. I'm amazed. Now I can finally start thinking about normal smut again. Please don't even think to ask me about a first time story EVER again. I can't write them. And I don't even want to.  
  
However, I do want to say hi to Sue the person who got me into this. Whatever evil side I had till now, I swear it's gone now. Thanks for helping me out of my disaster, when I was desperate. (No that does not mean that Sue wrote part of this. It just means that she remembered me from time to time that there was more to write)  
  
Another thanks to Anne, who I think must have felt, my feelings towards this story while she betaed it. It looked like a lot of work, when I got the story back. As much as I say thank you... I also beg your pardon.  
  
Last but not least: Thanks to all our reviewers. Thanks for reading Life's choices until the end. ( 


End file.
